A Comfort Like No Other
by HandsAcrossTheSea
Summary: The best way for Sam's soul to heal is the loving touch of his angel.


Sam woke up, chest heaving, his breathing labored, sweating from every pore of his body. He felt like he was on fire, and he knew it wasn't so, but he was very quickly scared for his life.

It was still night, bright moonlight coming through the window of the motel room.

It felt like he was burning, a sensation far sharper and more powerful than any fever he had ever experienced. His vision was blurry, the room before him dark. His head was pounding, his heartbeat relentlessly loud in his head, and suddenly he felt nauseous.

He stumbled towards the bathroom, nearly tripping over the blanket that had been covering him. He fumbled for the light switch, finally finding it and closing the door. He bent over the toilet, dry heaves wracking him, his skin feeling as though it was going to slide off of him at any second. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. He managed to do so just enough to pull himself into the shower, crawling on his hands and knees. He reached for the cold water, turning it on, uttering a small cry as the water hit his skin.

The last thing he heard before passing out was "Sam?"

. . .

The next time Sam woke up, he got one eye open before the pain rushed through his nerves, causing his vision to go black again, but a pair of hands on the sides of his head kept him from tipping back over into it. "Sam, can you hear me?" Sam's brain didn't register the sound, and he was fighting hard to not lose himself to unconsciousness again.

It won anyway, and he was gone again, blackness falling over his eyes, his body on fire. If he had dreamt, it would have been of fire, consuming his body over and over again.

. . .

The third time, he didn't even try to open his eyes. Instead he tried speaking. His voice didn't sound like his own as he called out "Dean?" There was no response. "Dean?" Again, no response. He picked his head up, opening his eyes slowly, bracing himself for the rush of pain that seemed to accompany that motion lately.

This time, it didn't come.

He blinked against the bleariness in his eyes, and he realized that he was in his old room at Bobby's house. He sat up more, trying to process just how it was he got here. The last thing he truly remembered was turning on a shower, and a deep voice that should have been familiar saying his name.

He sank back down into the pillows, bringing up his hands to run them over his face. He felt as though his insides had been sucked dry, his skin papery and sallow. If he was sick, then he was fully prepared to die because he felt like he had the world's worst hangover compounded by ten along with a fever of a million. He wanted to stand, to make sure that all of his parts were still attached but he didn't trust himself, so instead he settled for just sitting up a little more.

Once he had pulled himself into a relatively upright position, he called out again. "Dean? Bobby? Cas?" It was the latter of the three that answered. Sam smiled weakly, the effort straining his muscles way more than it should have. He noticed that his boyfriend was barefoot, and wearing what looked like one of Sam's old shirts, two sizes too large for him, and a pair of sleep pants borrowed from Dean.

He crossed over to the bed, and sat down next to Sam. "Easy does it Sam." He laid Sam back down on the pillows, and moved across him to lay down next to him, his hand gently stroking Sam's hair. "You've still got a long way to go."

Sam closed his eyes. "What... what happened?" He could feel sleep, not unconsciousness this time, overtaking him.

He almost heard Castiel say "I'll tell you later."

. . .

It was night when Sam woke up the next time.

Cas was gone again, but there was a glass of water on the nightstand, along with two aspirin. There was a note in Dean's block handwriting that said "Take these when you wake up. We're all downstairs." Sam did as instructed, and downed the water in one long gulp along with the tablets. He swung his legs out from under the covers, and when he felt confident enough to stand, he slowly rose from the bed.

As if by magic, Cas was right there, supporting him. "Easy does it Sam. I've got you." Sam took the opportunity to hug Cas, some of his confusion easing away.

He helped Sam down the stairs, one step at a time. When he was in the living room, both Dean and Bobby rose from their seats to help ease Sam over to the couch. Once he was settled in, he finally asked. "What's going on?"

Cas spoke up first. "It's your soul Sam."

"What... what's wrong with it?"

Dean spoke next. "After Death put it back in, he left a small part of himself behind. We didn't know it was there, not even Cas. It had been eating away at you, and it finally caught up with the rest of your body. Sammy, you nearly died last week in that shower. So we brought you hear, to recover. You've been asleep for nearly three days."

"How... how am I alive?" Sam could hardly believe what he was hearing.

Bobby gestured towards Cas. "Some help from Cas and some ancient Babylonian magic. You're not gonna die anytime soon Sam but you've got a long way to go before you heal completely. So, we brought you here. Cas figured familiar surroundings would do you the most good, make you more comfortable." Sam nodded his head, understanding a little more.

Dean laid a hand on Sam's knee, drawing his attention. "If you need anything Sammy, we'll get it for you, promise."

Sam cleared his throat, wincing internally at the action. "More... more water would be good." Dean rose from his seat, and went to the kitchen. "And I think I could stomach..." Sam shook his head, trying to clear the dizziness away. "Like a banana or something."

"On it Sam." Bobby patted him on the shoulder and went to join Dean. Cas nuzzled Sam's neck and whispered into his ear "I was afraid I'd lost you my darling." Cas's voice was heavy with emotion, and he felt the angel sob quietly.

Sam hugged him close. "Takes a lot more than a little bit of Death to get rid of me Cas. Wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, you know that right?" Sam put a hand in Cas's hair, stroking the back of his head. "I owe you one, bigtime."

Cas wiped his tears away and put a hand to the side of Sam's face. "I won't ever do that again."

Sam looked a little confused. "Do what Cas?"

"Leave you like that. I had gone out to just get some air, I couldn't sleep. Dean didn't know either, he was with that girl he met at the bar."

Sam put his forehead to Cas's. "Babe, it's alright. You didn't know, alright? It's not your fault Cas, really. You hearing me? You saved my life Cas." He hugged Cas tight, rubbing the spot between his wings that he knew would comfort him. "When I'm better Cas, I'm gonna make it up to you. Gonna let you know how much you mean to me. How much everything you do for me means to me." Cas nodded, smiling a little.

Bobby and Dean came back, and Sam felt better after consuming what he had asked for. Cas didn't leave his side for the rest of the night, easy, cheerful conversation flowing between the four of them, trying to make Sam feel better. By the time they all agreed to turn in, Sam did feel better, but there was an incredible weariness in his bones, and his muscles ached. Cas helped him back up the stairs, arm secure around his waist.

He eased Sam into the bed, smoothing his hair out as he settled in next to him. "I didn't want to upset Dean or Bobby, but Cas you gotta tell me what happened."

Cas moved to where he could lay on his side and look down at Sam. "After you got your soul back, it still had Death's mark on it. I didn't even realize it, and there were no outward manifestations of its existence. I noticed that you acted no differently, so my concern was low. I thought that since you had your soul back, everything would be as before. As your soul healed itself, it must have tried to push Death's mark to the surface and as it did, your body started to deteriorate slowly. Death literally tried to take you sleeping. I put you into a coma so that I could examine you and find out the problem. When you woke up earlier, that was the first time you've had your eyes open for more than a few seconds. I put you back to sleep so that later I could tell you all of this. Bobby was right when he said that you were in no danger of dying – your soul is healed now. But it will be some time before you are fully recovered."

"Can't you heal me Cas?"

The angel shook his head. "This is something that I cannot do. Your body must heal itself. But that doesn't mean I can't be by your side every step of the way Sam. I'm not going anywhere." Cas smiled down at him, brushing the side of Sam's face.

Sam felt his exhaustion weighing in on him more than before. He yawned deeply and snuggled up to Cas's side. "I love you Castiel." With that, he was asleep.

Cas willed the lamp off, and pulled the covers up around them. "I love you too Sam."

Sam slept peacefully that night, Cas holding him close to his heart.

. . .

The next morning, Sam woke up feeling slightly less achey.

Cas was lying on his stomach with one arm protectively thrown across Sam's broad chest, sleeping peacefully so far as Sam could tell. Sam turned on his side and drew the angel to him, hugging him close to his body. He put his arms around Cas's chest, kissing down the side of his neck as he did so. Cas might not like suddenly being cuddled, but it was going to happen anyway.

Sam heard Cas mumble as he was suddenly pulled from his slumber and into his boyfriend. Sam's hair tickled at Cas's face as he felt his lover's soft lips brush down his neck. "Wake up my angel."

Cas sighed as he came fully awake. "I would normally tell you to go away and let me sleep today I'll make an exception."

"You say that every time." Sam laid his head into the crook of Cas's neck, content to stay there forever.

"Do not."

"Okay so maybe it's not the exact same thing but it's close. Don't even pretend you don't like this."

Cas closed his eyes again and soaked up the warmth of Sam's strong body. "Alright, maybe I do."

Sam rubbed a hand up and down Cas's front. "Just maybe?"

Cas took his hand and kissed, holding it close to his lips. "Okay, definitely."

"That's what I thought."

"I missed this Cas. Missed being awake to hold you."

Cas turned in his arms so that he could look at Sam's face. "I missed it too Sam. A lot."

Sam smiled and kissed Cas gently on the lips. "I normally wouldn't ask this but Cas, could you help me to the bathroom? I really, really want to take a shower. And I promise I won't pass out this time." Sam did his best to sound confident.

"Would you like me to stay with you?"

Sam smiled. "As much as I would like that, better not. It's Bobby's house, and I don't want to upset him because one of his boys is getting freaky with an angel in his upstairs bathroom."

Cas nodded. "I understand."

"But I'd appreciate it if you help me get undressed at least." Sam winked at him, a hint of slyness in his eyes.

"I can certainly do that."

"And I do need someone to help wash my back. Never can seem to quite get all of it, you know?" A playful smile tugged at the corner's of Sam's mouth.

"I can do that too." Cas felt his loins stir at putting his hands all over Sam's back.

Sam canted his head towards the door, and he rose from the bed. Cas put an arm around his waist, letting Sam rest his weight on him slightly. This time when Sam walked, Cas didn't have to help him nearly as much. This made the angel's heart thrill, knowing that Sam was starting to feel better.

They passed Dean in the hallway, who stopped and smiled at them. "Feeling better Sammy?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah Dean, I am. Not like I could go ten rounds with a wendigo but better than yesterday. I'll feel even better after I shower." Dean gave them both a knowing look and smiled.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Sam's body isn't ready for sexual activity yet. Even if he could get an erec-" Sam put his hand over Cas's mouth. "He's just going to help me get in the tub and then leave. If he's not down for breakfast in five minutes, I'll make him go."

"Hey, whatever it is you two need to do. Just don't want to hear anything." Dean continued past them, leaving them alone in the hallway. Cas bit at the inside of Sam's hand, and Sam gave a small yelp at the sudden sharpness of Cas's teeth. "Fucker."

Cas looked non-plussed. "I don't know why you do that all the time anyway. I was simply telling Dean facts."

"Sometimes, people don't need to know everything. And you, my angel, don't have a filter between here and here." He tapped the side of Cas's head and then the side of his mouth to indicate what he was talking about.

"Were you serious about sending me down in five minutes?" Cas truly did look a little disappointed at that.

"If you can behave yourself, no. Cas I really don't feel like my body is up to that yet. I'm serious on that one. But I really do want you to touch me somehow. I've missed those expert hands of yours."

Cas stood on his tiptoes to kiss Sam briefly on the lips. "I've missed it too Sam. A lot." Sam pulled him towards the bathroom, and shut the door gently behind them. Sam pulled his shirt up slightly, and Cas took it the rest of the way off. He noticed that Sam had lost a little weight, and ribcage was more visible under his skin than it had been. Regardless, he could help but run his hands all over Sam's torso. Sam held his wrists after a moment. "I'm not going to disappear Cas, promise."

"Couldn't help myself Sam. You're just so..." He let his eyes wander up and down Sam's body. "Perfect." Sam leaned his head down for another kiss. He put his hand on the back of Cas's head, tenderly pressing them closer together. Cas parted his lips, seeking Sam's tongue, and he received it, and he rubbed his hands up and down Sam's back, easing the knotted muscles as well as he could.

Sam broke the kiss. "Consider that a promise of things to come my angel." Sam smiled and pulled his sweatpants down along with his boxers. Cas very badly wanted to reach out and take Sam's flaccid, thick cock in his hand, make him cum from his touch, but he resisted, and instead hugged Sam from behind as he turned on the water. Sam held out his hand for Cas to help him step over the edge of the tub, and Cas aided his balance as he did so.

The room soon filled with steam, and Sam turned so that Cas could wash his back. Cas was mesmerized by the way the water ran down Sam's strong back, rivulets making their way across the definition of his muscles, making their way to the supple curve of Sam's bottom. Cas stared at that place, licking his lips. He thought about the warm, clean taste of Sam right after he had showered, and the way Sam's skin glowed after toweling off.

"Cas?" Sam's voice snapped him back to the room before him.

"Sorry just uh..." Cas didn't want to admit that he was openly ogling his boyfriend.

"It's okay to look Cas. I don't mind, really." Sam turned and put a wet hand to the side of Cas's face. "Fucking love it when you look at me like that. Besides, when I'm better..." He leaned in to Cas' face, careful to not fall over the edge of the tub. "You can have me any way you want my angel. That's a promise."

Cas swallowed, his mouth having suddenly gone dry. Sam had barely touched him and he'd gone completely weak in the knees. Just went to show how powerful an effect Sam had on him, and that was after a very near brush with Death, literally and figuratively.

Sam kissed him on the forehead and said "Thanks for washing my back Cas. Why don't you go see if Bobby and Dean need help with anything. I think I can manage the rest myself, really."

Cas nodded, shifting his weight to give the erection that had sprung up in his pants a little more freedom. "Yeah. Yeah, alright." Sam watched him as he left the bathroom, a tugging at his own loins making his head feel light.

God damn it that angel is sexy, he thought to himself as he washed his hair.

. . .

After going back into Sam's room and touching himself to orgasm so that he wouldn't be sporting a boner in front of Dean and Bobby, he strode into the kitchen, where Dean was scrambling eggs and Bobby was making French toast. Bobby looked up at Cas. "How's he doing?"

Cas cleared his throat. "He's better. The ritual worked, and he's going to be okay. But he's lost weight, and he'll need to stay here for awhile to rest. If the two of you need to work, I am certainly capable of looking after him." Cas left it unsaid that really all he wanted to do was spend the next several days in bed with Sam, taking care of him and making out copiously.

Bobby looked at Dean, who nodded. "Just keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't exert himself. Sam refuses to believe he's sick. Kid's got a really strong will, even if his body won't let him. I remember one time he tried to follow me on a ghost hunt with a fever of 103 and a cough that kept bringing up blood. Even then he insisted on digging that grave by himself."

Bobby dropped a couple of pieces of bread into the French toast mix. "Even when he was a kid he always wanted to help. Would try to help me translate Latin one time when he had the flu. Told him to get off before he got snot all over the book I was reading out of but he insisted."

Cas smiled to himself, the vision of a much younger Sam defiantly following Dean and Bobby around, saying that he could shoot just as good as they could. Dean put the scrambled eggs all into one plate, and set them on the table. "Why don't you go check on him. I think I heard the water shut off a minute ago."

Cas went back up the stairs, and he knocked on the bathroom door. Sam opened it, a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair damp. "Better?" Cas moved so that Sam could step from the bathroom.

"A lot. Thanks for helping Cas." Sam regarded him with a warm look.

"My pleasure Sam." Cas reached up and put a hand in Sam's wet hair, disentangling it. "Always." Sam put his hands on Cas's hips and pulled him so Sam that was leaning against the wall, his lips connecting with Cas's. Sam murmured around Cas's mouth "Can't have you like I want Cas, so I'm gonna kiss you as much as I can." Cas didn't have any sort of intelligent response so he just let his tongue explore Sam's mouth, seeking every little spot and crevice he could find. Cas loved the fact that Sam was tall and could draw him up like this, could bend his body backwards and mold him to fit, could make Cas easily forget that he was a powerful being from heaven and not some man hopelessly in love with a stupidly tall, stupidly gorgeous, very loving hunter.

His hunter.

They were interrupted by Dean's voice calling from downstairs that breakfast was ready. Sam broke the kiss, and Cas whined slightly. "Don't worry Cas – there's plenty more where that came from."

Cas followed him into the bedroom, anticipation thrilling through his body.

. . .

Just because Sam was down for the time being didn't mean he couldn't be helpful. Bobby and Dean were two states over on a demon hunt, so Sam and Cas had taken it upon themselves to better organize and catalog Bobby's vast collection of lore and knowledge. They had been gone for a couple of days now, but they had called twice a day since then, indicating that they were alright. Sam and Cas were currently both sitting in the floor of Bobby's kitchen, Sam with his hair tied back and gently stacking a pile of books on witches and their spells. Cas was trying to be helpful, but with the way Sam's long, gorgeous neck was exposed and with Sam continually sticking his tongue out in concentration he was finding it hard to be so.

"I think we've got the witch stuff done now." Cas was staring at him, not hearing him. Sam sighed, and waved his fingers in front of Cas's face.

Cas looked at him in the eye. "What?"

"You were doing it again."

Cas blushed deep red. "Was not."

"Yes, you were. Don't even lie." Sam scooted a little closer to him.

"I'm an angel – I can't lie."

"Then what were you doing?"

"Studying the intricacies of your neck and all of the spots I could kiss it." Cas's breath hitched as Sam's face was suddenly right there in front of his. Cas had to tilt his head back slightly to take in all of Sam's head. "And you keep..." Cas's words were suddenly lost as he noticed that Sam's eyes were practically burning with desire. He felt like the air between them was suddenly weighed down with the palpability of lust.

"Want you so bad Cas." Sam closed the distance between them and kissed Cas, pushing him gently to the floor, careful to not knock over the stacks of books that they had so neatly organized. Cas kissed Sam back, _I want you too _playing over and over through his mind, doing his best to convey that through his lips. If Sam was still feeling weakened from his soul being sick, he gave no outward indication of it. This was all Sam before he was sick, the vital, strong, sexually charged Sam.

The Sam that had so captured the angel's heart.

The Sam that did that every day when he woke up in his arms.

Cas wrapped his arms around Sam's back, one on his neck and the other moving down to plunge into the back of Sam's pants. It had been over two weeks since they had last touched each other like this, and the desire between them was heavy, such that it felt like a heat pressing in and around Cas's skin.

That and the fact that Sam Winchester was laying on top of him like some sort of giant loving puppy, doing his best to suck down Cas's tongue.

Sam used his knee to part Cas's legs, and he reached down to stroke Cas through his jeans. The more time Cas spent around Sam, the more he wore normal clothes. Sam wasn't sure where he got them, but it was a nice change from the suit and trench coat he normally wore. He tugged at the hem of Cas's t-shirt, wanting to feel his skin underneath his hands. Cas lifted his arms, letting Sam worship his body. Sam sucked and nipped at Cas's throat, one hand toying with Cas's nipple, the other continuing to palm Cas's cock through the thick denim. He secretly hoped that Dean and Bobby weren't already on their way back because this was too good to stop right now.

Sam bit down on Cas's jaw, hard, and suddenly Cas's desire skyrocketed. He pushed Sam off of him, and in the blink of an eye, he and Sam were naked in the upstairs bed where Sam had lain recovering. Cas rolled on top of Sam, need and burning lust coursing through his veins. Sam was like a drug and he was a junkie with an addiction, one that could only be fixed by the younger Winchester.

He settled himself between Sam's legs, wet lips ghosting over Sam's weeping cock. At least that part of his was recovered anyway. However, that's not the part of Sam he desired. He pulled Sam's hips up slightly, and gently parted his buttocks, Sam's dark pink entrance a contrast with the skin around it, contracting every time Sam's cock flexed in arousal.

Cas licked a lazy trail around it, slicking the area up with his saliva. He wanted to fuck right into Sam at that moment, but he knew that Sam both wanted and needed to be opened up first. They could take longer to do this some other time; right now, he needed to be inside Sam, and he needed him ready for that.

Sam moaned above him as he felt Cas's mouth close over him, warm, wet mouth dialing his desire up by ten more notches. To say he was turned on was an understatement. He felt like he was on fire again, except this time it was the fire of want for Cas, want for his touch, want for the love that he knew Cas showed him on a regular basis. He felt Cas's tongue plunge into him, licking at his most intimate space, making him ready for the even greater pleasure of the angel being buried hilt deep in him.

Castiel reached up and began to stroke Sam in time with how he was moving his tongue, slow, long strokes as he pleasured him. Sam put a hand in Cas's hair, letting the thick, dark strands slip through his fingers, his moans growing louder with each time Cas's hand passed over the crown of his cockhead. Cas felt his wings manifest, and suddenly wanted Sam to touch and caress them in only the way he knew how, but his desire was winning out over any want for tenderness. He knew Sam would accord him that later.

Sam was on the verge of orgasm, and he pushed Cas off of him, his mouth open and want flushing his face red. He pulled Cas up for a kiss, and as he did the angel positioned himself by instinct against Sam's entrance. A bottle of lube appeared in Cas's hand, and he coated himself generously, feeling the liquid drip through his fingers as he applied it to his cock and to Sam. Sam was all hands as he knocked the bottle away and pulled forward on Cas's hips, not caring in the slightest at the burning sensation of Cas suddenly being inside him, filling him.

"Needed this so bad Cas, wanted you so fucking bad." He kissed the hand that Cas placed on his face as he began to rock in and out of him. "Love you so much." Sam wrapped his legs around Cas's waist, drawing him in deeper.

Cas leaned down and kissed Sam as he made slow, sweet love to him. Even when Sam was spread out under him, burning with desire, he still cherished him. Sam was the anchor in Castiel's existence, and he didn't want to hurt him. He said silent prayers against Sam's lips, and he felt Sam's hands hold onto his wing roots, massaging at them, practiced hands that could turn Cas on with the barest of touches. He felt Sam squeeze and appreciate them gently, coaxing him just past the point of too good, and Cas began to fuck into him a little bit faster, Sam's heat surrounding him, transferring to his own body, warming him beyond belief.

Sam held on tight to Cas's wings, the angel making his body feel completely blissed out, his tongue still in Sam's mouth, kissing away any lingering pain, any doubt of how much Castiel meant to him. Sam knew in that instant that Cas would never leave him, and he drew down on his lover's body even harder, wanting to be as close to the angel as possible.

"Cas... can you... I want your wings around me when I cum." Sam's pleading nearly made Cas's heart break.

"Anything for you, my darling Sam." Cas enveloped them with his wings, a pleasant heat surrounding both of them. Sam kissed the angel even deeper, his orgasm teasing at the back of his senses, and he knew that it wouldn't be long.

"Cas... soon." Cas knew exactly what he was talking about and reached down a hand to stroke Sam's swollen member in time with his thrusts, and each time he did, Sam clenched that much harder around him. Cas leaned up and placed a hand on Sam's chest, right over his heart, and with one more stroke, Sam came, crying out Cas's name, his body writing, hands holding onto any part of Cas he could get a grip on. Watching Sam climax made Castiel tip over into the chasm of orgasm, and his fingernails left angry red marks against Sam's chest as he exploded deep inside Sam. Three weeks of pent up desire were suddenly extinguished as overwhelming relief came over both of them, and Sam drew Cas back down and kissed him, wet, sloppy, I love and need you so much kisses. Cas drank those kisses down, the brand of Sam's lips on him forever.

Cas drew out of Sam and came down to rest his head on Sam's shoulder, the air warm with sex and the slow burn of Castiel's grace. "You know Cas, I don't have to have Death touch me for us to do that so well again."

Cas chuckled. "I agree Sam. That was fantastic."

Sam kissed him on the forehead. "It's a comfort like no other Cas, knowing that you're here, watching over me. Being with me. Loving me like you do."

Cas drew closer to Sam, a hand passing over him to clean up the mess of sex. "And I always will Sam – you can count on it."


End file.
